


fire gone out

by silkinsilence



Series: Femslash February 2020 [7]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied Relationships, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22728409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silkinsilence/pseuds/silkinsilence
Summary: ‍Mai doesn't want to stay in the palace, but what she wants has never mattered at all.‍
Relationships: Azula/Mai (Avatar)
Series: Femslash February 2020 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1621666
Comments: 3
Kudos: 56





	fire gone out

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written Maizula in a while, and it feels...unwieldy somehow. :/ Hope you enjoy anyway and it isn't too sloppy!

When Mai was a child who visited the palace to play games with the princess and watched the prince from a distance, her parents had dreamed of and prepared for the day when she would live inside its cloistered confines. She had been vaguely aware of that, but she had thought of it only in an abstract way. If she did think much of it, the thought was unnerving; the palace was huge and grim and old.

And now here she was, staying there at Fire Lord Ozai’s gracious invitation. And here she was, tenuously kindling a relationship with Prince Zuko, as her parents wanted.

But Zuko had half his face burnt off and three years of isolation on his shoulders, and she had scars carefully hidden where her parents would never see them, and she didn’t think anyone had wanted it to happen like this.

One thing hadn’t changed, though: the palace was still huge and grim and old.

Wandering through the halls at night made her feel like a ghost. Part of her believed there was nobody else there at all, and part of her was sure that if anyone found her they would toss her into the Boiling Rock for straying. But sleep was impossible and a macabre curiosity had her up again and again, exploring like she was still a child.

The first night she saw someone else, she had wandered down a set of stairs intended for servants, and then another, and found herself underground in a musty old hallway filled with old furniture.

It was dark, so she couldn’t see who was waiting for her, and she jumped badly and forgot how to breathe for a moment when a voice split the silence.

“Mai.”

She recognized the voice, though it wouldn’t have mattered if she didn’t, because in an instant the old corridor was filled with cold blue light.

Azula was sitting on the ground, an oversized sleeping robe drawn up around her. She looked very small in the folds of cloth. The light threw her face into sharp, stony lines.

Mai was gripped by a sinking feeling. She should not have strayed. Azula would not throw her into the Boiling Rock, but she would do worse.

“What are you doing down here?” the princess demanded. She didn’t stand. It felt odd to be standing over her. Azula was younger than her, and shorter, but she never seemed so.

She seemed to be so much more.

“Couldn’t sleep. What are _you_ doing down here?”

Azula’s eyes roved from her to the shadows of the old chairs and tables and into the small tongue of flame she held cupped in one hand. She did not answer for a few seconds, and then a minute, and Mai shifted from one foot to the other. It was cold.

“If you became Fire Lady, do you think your parents would be happy with you?” she asked abruptly, after the silence had stretched thin and horrible.

“What?”

_Be my Fire Lady,_ Azula had cajoled, her eyes gleaming with malice and her red-painted lips wet from the kiss  she had just broken off . But that had been a lifetime ago, when it was just the three of them and life was a dream and consequences were distant things. None of it had ever been real.

“If you married Zuko and he ascended the throne and your father had a spot in his court. Would they be content, or would they ask for more? Do you think your mother wouldn’t still find fault with everything you did?”

Her voice was bitter and grew sharper as she went on. Her eyebrows furrowed together. Mai was unsure what she’d asked that deserved that. She wished turning back was an option.

“No, I don’t think that,” Mai said honestly. She tried not to think of it at all.

“Then why are you sucking Zuzu’s cock if it won’t get you what you want?”

“Azula,” Mai said. Bile rose in her throat. She hated the girl sitting there. It was always like this, _always,_ and she didn’t understand what was wrong with the princess, or what was wrong with her, that she’d wound up here after all.

“I shouldn’t have brought him back,” Azula said, her eyes boring into Mai as if she wanted to burn her to ashes where she stood.

“You’re jealous of him,” Mai said, knowing it was a very dangerous thing to say, but Azula did not react immediately. Her face went oddly blank, and slowly she stood, lifting the cloth around her. Her feet were bare, Mai noticed, an uncomfortable fact.

“I enjoyed our adventures, Mai. I was remiss to end them so soon.”

She leaned forward; Mai leaned back. Her heart was suddenly going very fast. This was not good for her, not the way Zuko’s steady warmth was good for her. Azula was poison, rust, _fire—_

Azula was a hot mouth on her neck, and Mai hated both of them, but she hated herself more for leaning back against the wall and going limp and imagining again that they were in Ba Sing Se or the colonies or the wilds of the Earth Kingdom. Somewhere beyond the reaches of her parents and Fire Lord Ozai and every venom that corroded Azula just underneath the surface.

It was always a mistake to think of Azula like that. The sensation that had been pleasurable for a few vanishing seconds morphed into something else, and then Azula was exhaling flame and Mai let out a noise she couldn’t control and staggered backward.

The raw, burned skin of her throat throbbed.

Azula looked placid again, pleased with herself.

“You should be in your bed, Mai. It’s late. Come.”

She extinguished the fire in her hand, but wove down the hallway in the dark with the ease of practice. Mai had no choice but to follow.

She would not tell Zuko about this. She had accumulated many things she would never tell anyone.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments always appreciated!


End file.
